It is one of the most difficult and heartbreaking decisions you can make. Nobody goes into a marriage with the goal of getting a divorce. Yet, countless couples throughout Miami do it all the time. You have already gone through the divorce process. Child custody and support have already been determined and arranged. But for many South Florida couples, the romantic flame and bond they shared never quite goes away. Now comes an even more difficult decision– should I reconcile with my ex? Most divorce lawyers in Miami would highly recommend not re-entering a relationship with your former spouse. But if you are considering a reconciliation, here are some important factors to think about.
- Evaluate your relationship from a broader perspective: It is easy to pick out the qualities you love about your ex. Perhaps you enjoyed a unique chemistry together. The sex was good. You both share the same philosophies of raising your children. But there are several other questions you must ask yourself. How do I view my relationship now compared to our first marriage? Do you appreciate your ex spouse more than you did before? Is life better with your ex rather being apart? How have you both grown as individuals as a result of your divorce?
- Create an inventory of everything you love and hate about your former spouse: Write down the good and bad qualities of your partner. For example, if your ex abused drugs or alcohol, is he or she now sober? Is your former spouse now more responsible with money? If you are going to reconcile, make sure you have solid answers to these questions. If you are bending, the chances are both of you are doomed to repeat the past.
- Make a comparison of your core values: So many issues can cause a marriage to dissolve. Do you continue to clash with your ex about spending habits, moral values etc? If there is still a divide in your value system, are you both willing to compromise?
- Have you undergone couple’s counseling since attempting to reconcile? If you have not undergone couples therapy, it is highly recommended to do so. Choose an unbiased therapist who can provide a neutral perspective to help work on your relationship issues.
- Create New Habits: Most of us are creatures of habit. But for anything to survive, we must all learn to adapt. The same goes for a marriage. Try giving your relationship a fresh new start. Be more open with your partner, such as how you handle your finances. Take turns on choosing a place to go on vacation. Spend some time with each other’s in-laws. These are just some examples of activities you may not have done with your ex during your marriage.
- Have you discussed a prenuptial agreement? It may seem cold and harsh. But it is important to protect yourself should your reconciliation fail. Not only should you discuss a prenuptial agreement with your former spouse, get some advice from an experienced family law attorney in Miami.
Life is often about taking risks. As we mature as people, we often gain wisdom from our past errors. Perhaps you and your ex have both learned from your divorce. If you are considering a reconciliation, talk to your family law attorney in Miami and get their perspective on some of the success stories and failures from their perspective. You have nothing to lose.